feeling fine, thank you

I feel good today. There aren't a lot of journal entries that start out that way for me. I just don't take the time to write when I'm feeling just fine.
I've been thinking maybe we are programmed not to express ourselves when we feel good. When we're excited as kids we are told to "calm down" or "find something quiet to do." If you're good at the wrong things, it can lead to traumatic experiences with peers throughout primary school. Then in highschool, it becomes cool to be sullen and depressed, or at the very least non-communicative.
As adults, I doubt there is one among us that didn't go through some kind of realization process that life is harder than we thought it would be. It is hard, and we have to be strong to get through it. Then comes the part where we measure our worth by how strong we are...how much shit we have to put up with...conversations become comparisons about how over worked, underpaid, overtired (etc!) we are. If you tell people you're doing exceptionally well, you open yourself to jealousy or resentment or you're thought of as a bragger. How much sense does that make?
I feel best when everyone I love is happy. I may not necessarily be happy myself, but I can always be happy for Dave when he's asked to come to SXSW. I can be spilling-over proud of Alison for being such a brilliant light in the world. I can be thrilled for Will as I watch him flailing around on stage like the true rockstar he is. I feel at peace when I know my friends are happy and healthy and loved. This makes more sense to me.
I just bought ingredients to make turkey and vegetable pies for Frazer and the girls. I should add here that I am a vegetarian, with two exceptions...I eat fishes (because they have tiny brains and live a relatively long time before becoming food) and turkeys (because they're mean for no reason). I'll also be making berry pies for their just desserts.
Then tonight, I'm off to day 2 of the absessions, which is what I've taken to calling it...my favorite week for music in the entire year!
Sunshine on his shoulders makes blue shiny...
It's going to be a good day. Decide that for yourself today too, ok?
Then tell someone how good it feels.
jasmine